Who knew?

I stumbled upon this randomly, and was quite intrigued. My peeps have been pretty innovative, AND they make awesome beer and whiskey.
I, for one, am VERY happy for the toilet invention.
Top 10 Things Invented In Scotland
(Sorry...it's bing.)

I have NO idea...

Yup...I've reached that place. The WTF place. I actually don't know anything about anything, and it's kind of nice in ways. Sort of. 8-/
I have definites, don't get me wrong...I mean..I KNOW quite a bit. But, that's all the big stuff...the big picture. The rest...goodlord.
The little picture is getting weirder by the day, and I can't do anything about it.
Except drink some. And listen to music. And go into my room and sleep when possible. And coffee...sometimes cakeballs.

I am planning to get a tattoo in the next couple of weeks, and in the meantime I've been bored and impatient. Work is difficult and busy, but I've decided to take it easy as much as possible and just do my best to NOT be quite as OCD and workaholic as I have been for the last seven years. I'm actually almost slacking, which is SO not me. I take long lunches, I hang out at Starbuck's, I take extra breaks, and I have been doodling quite a bit. I even doodle on myself, because (as I stated before) I'm impatient. I've even gotten my coworker into doodling on HERself..hahaa. And I have examples:




Yes...I'm THAT bored.
(And..wow...is my skin looking old??? Crap.)

Ah...the randomness...
And...not. *sigh*

Song of the Week #4

I'm really just getting into this band, but I've heard their music for a couple years now, off and on. This one's almost mildly funkeh at times. ;) I heard it this morning on the way to work.

poetry FAIL

:)
But I'm posting it anyway, because I'm a big, cheesy, retarded, pitiful dork in love. You really can't expect anything else from me...

100 pieces of sky

I could write backwards
to when we met
and find you smiling
your crooked grin
upsidedown
naming the stars
haunting cafes alone;
you documented every second
I wasn’t there.
I counted heartbeats
from when you started it
for me..
the number is now
infinite.
I could draw a map
of what I’ll find in your eyes
like a tattoo of certainties
I can’t get right;
I’m already marked
and I know the way..
how do you find the middle?
I’m upsidedown
and smiling
holding back a storm..

I will collect
100 pieces of sky
for every wrong turn,
every time you cried.
I will dispense them
as thoughts
as snow
the smell of magnolias,
your skin in pink fleece;
wrap them in ribbons
until you can sing
to me
and I can write
the end.
I will dispense
crooked grins
with certainties
and document the stars
you light
in heartbeats.


SO disgusting. Really.
If I read this elsewhere, I'd have to go vomit.
:D

Mars Hoax??

WTF!!??
I'm very annoyed and disappointed. I got this (very goofy) forwarded e-mail containing a (very goofy) Powerpoint of how Mars will be huge and close to Earth later this month. Upon further investigation, I've learned that it is not only untrue, but that I'm also a perpetuator of enormous stupidity. And...it's OLD! OLD HOAX!
*sigh* I forwarded it..astronomy geek that I am.
*hanging head in shame*
I'm a sheep.
*bleat* (Don't sheep bleat??)

The article, Beware the Mars Hoax, explains the whole thing, and it also gives the correct date and information for the REAL event.
The only question I'm left with now is: WHY in the world would someone go to all the trouble to make something like that up and then spread it all over the internet?? I mean..is it some sort of weird graduate project on mass emailing trends? Is there someone out there that's angry at Mars and trying to make it look bad? Does someone want to just be sitting at home on the night of August 27th laughing gleefully and maniacally about all these people standing around in fields and their yards, staring blankly into the night sky for indeterminate amounts of time?
AND..I wish I had that kind of time and energy...just to waste. I could build a time machine or clean my kitchen. Whichever was more pressing.

green M&M's

I work with crazy people.
It's a fact.
Unfortunately, this likely means I'm ALSO crazy, but I still say that the fact that I can recognize THEIR craziness is proof that I'm at least relatively sane. Really. Go ahead..give me a Rorschach test. That one is a pretty butterfly, not roadkill in the sun...and that one..hmm.. Definitely a baby sea lion, NOT someone running along the beach dressed like a banana. Those are daisies, not a trunk-full of AK-47's.
(Did I pass?? *eyetwitch*)

With our new, M&M-green shirts, we definitely look a bit more suspect. In fact, we've even been eating more M&M's. Subconscious hunger-identification? Freudian feeding?
For this entire week, we've been in the clutches of a lingering tropical depression, which decided it likes us SO much, it shared several inches of rain. Most of this was dispensed very slowly and sporadically as drizzle and mist, with occasional, brief downpours, so that we could also have the pleasure of working in it. My feet and entire body have been wet for more than 8 hours a day for the last four days. Sweat and rain and mud, oh my. I feel like a gigantic prune. I love air conditioning. I love long showers. I love dry clothing.
I'd make a TERRIBLE snail. (Except for the mobile home part...that's SO convenient.)

As we progress into the worst time for hurricanes (August through October), I'm thinking we might not be lucky this year. It's been two years, and prior to that it was only three. Russian roulette with Mother Nature leaves me nervous and irritable.
Where are my M&M's!?
If we get a bad storm, I have to work 6 days a week, 10 hours or so a day, in very close proximity to ALL my coworkers...then I likely get to return home to no air conditioning, no long shower, and no dry clothes, bedding, air, anything. Imagine sleeping in a sauna. I will also drink too much beer and have to eat cold ravioli from a can again. 8-/
I need non-tropical vibes sent my way. And maybe some color-safe bleach.

Song of the Week #3

There were at least six in the running for this week, but in the end this one won. The others will be relegated to the file cabinet in my head or added to the playlist.

because I can't write..

..and I'm too exhausted to create tables in SQL and query them. Ahh..impending geekdom.
I should be writing at times like these. Instead, here are two poems by two poets I rather like:

From a Vacant House

It is hard to want a thing you know will hurt another,
yet the heart persists, doesn't it, with its dark urges, liquid wish?

A sea town. Gulls, those malefica, uselessly scissor
thin-boned bodies against a beach washed of its will,

where a season ago women lay, dogs and children fastened
to the long arms of their concern, the men vacant and glittery

with spandex and oil. It is November, and already books thicken
at my bedside, a crush of paper characters awaiting the eye's

hurried pass, their unread stories attendant through the night,
until its bandage lifts to a morning blush, and I am held

within the parenthesis of a spare white house, a little thinner,
empty hands chilled like the faithful, offering myself to discipline's

cool machinery. I will stand on the pier, gesturing and cold.
I will open my mouth to your opening mouth.

--Mark Wunderlich




today is tuesday; email me on saturday

the secret of life is decisiveness
and to describe something
i see the distance and move immediately into it
now i am really alone
from here i know these things: that a hamster is a lonely fist
that my poems exist to dispel irrational angers, that i want to hold your face
with my face
like a hand
the secret of life is that i miss you, and this describes life
tonight my heart feels shiny and calm as a soft wet star
i describe it from a distance, then move quickly away

--Tao Lin



Male poets are weird, self-important creatures, but I like a handful of them because they sometimes say things I haven't found a way to say yet. Too many female poets write about the sunset and grandma's hands, strangers in coffee shops and why men are self-important creatures.
I like to write about self-important sunsets, and I hold my coffee cup like my grandma did.

Song of the Week #2

heheh..

moon, moon, moon...

When I was a much shorter and more sensible person, I actually thought the moon followed me. I know that lots of kids (and, hell..maybe some adults, too) think this. It isn't uncommon. I REALLY believed it, though, until I started reading astronomy books and encyclopedias. The truth was immensely depressing, but it made sense. I mean, WHY would the moon pick ME to follow anyway? Surely there were other more important and interesting people out there for it to occupy its time with. Other people doing more exciting things with their time than Lego cities and epic Star Wars battles.
So I accepted that I was not special.
The older I get, though, I have to wonder... The above picture was taken last Monday night using my cell phone. I actually pulled over to take it, so that it might join 100 other photos of the Louisiana sky I've been collecting for almost two years now. It didn't look very blue with the naked eye. What happened?
It followed me home and all the next day. What do the books know, anyway? ;)

Song of the Week #1

Ok..so I was thinking I'd post a song I can't get out of my head once every week. In actuality, there are lots of songs I can't get out of my head in the span of one week, but I can't possibly inflict them all on the world (or..well..all two people that read this goofy blog, which counts as my world *grin*). I guess I'll be finding them mostly on YouTube, so I apoligize for that in advance. ;)

Without further ado..

self-portrait with ethnic food

I look better with some bacon and grits (with SYRUP!!).





The 115 degree heat index, with actual temperatures around 101, has made me as much of a shut-in as I'm able to be. Convenience stores and take-out have become my sources of sustenance. My trash was so stuffed with styrofoam containers, energy drink aluminum, and fatty snack wrappers that anyone happening to wander in might assume a small herd of video game programmers lives here.
This week I am made of hummus and stuffed grape leaves, pico de gallo and jalapenos, hamachi and seaweed salad, beer from four different countries, Red Bull and Monster, and M&M's and Reese's Cup ice cream. If I don't buy groceries soon, I fear what might be next. Redi-Whip straight from the can? Ramen Noodle? Indian food??! 8-/

*waiting for fall with my head in the freezer (which is empty except for tater tots)*