snow

When snow falls in south Louisiana, it seems to clarify things. It's more like a cleansing, I guess..and I don't know if that's because it's so unusual or because it's so cold..sterilizing. Things feel sterilized now, and we only got about an inch, which stuck only to cars and rooftops..a bit in the grass and other odd areas. It's all mostly melted by now, as the sun is very much up and it's going to be a gorgeous day. Sunny and cold...just the way I like it. :)
So..in a very long conversation I had with The Southerner (aka The Fighting Okra) last night, while it snowed, one of the many topics discussed was parents and their overall effectiveness/goodness. See, The Southerner's parents passed away, within 6 years of each other, and The Southerner isn't even 40 yet. She misses them, and it's especially hard around the holidays...especially when it snows in south Louisiana (where she is NOT a native). I reminded her that despite her sadness, she should remember how lucky she is to have had such caring, attentive, encouraging, and loving parents. Not all of us had that, so...though both of my parents are still very much with me and probably will be for some time to come, I still haven't reached the level of closeness and unconditional love with mine that she had instantly, upon birth, with hers. She, of course, still misses them and is sad...but..she agreed with me, and thanked me.
My reply was to state that I so very much don't want to be like they were....the bad parts...and she said that I couldn't possibly..that I'd be almost overboard in every parental area. Her statement mademe think about that more deeply than I ever have..I think I even dreamt some of it...and I decided to create a list. (Because I do so love lists, geek that I am. :P)
So..I now present to you ( all one of my readers *grin*) The If Jana Could Be a Parent List:
(drumroll, please.............)

There would always be music and reading..especially poetry and all the amazing children's books I love. Eventually, the classics.
Television would be limited to two to three hours a day, depending. More time should be spent playing and reading..actually THINKING..and much of the play would occur outdoors. Kids don't play outside enough anymore, and they just should.
Food would never be a reward or a pacifier...it's just food, and though there'd be plenty of junk food for fun, the overall diet would be healthy and balanced. Lots of fruits and veggies..milk..whole grains...actually prepared meals. No fast food throughout the week and pizza and pre-packaged crap because it's easier. Those should be rarities. And, they'd eat sushi. :P
There would be a family game night..board games or something equally as all-inclusive.
There would be art..we'd paint, draw, whatever...and we'd go to museums of all kinds.
There would be science...because I love it, even if my math-challenged brain can't handle all the math...we'd do projects and read and watch geek shows...and go to those museums, as well.
There would be movie night...and we'd all take turns choosing the movie.
There would be at least an hour, probably more, of reading everyday, for everybody.
We would find new music every couple of weeks or so and listen to it...whatever genre..and we'd take turns picking it. Everybody would have access to iTunes, of course. Very important.
We'd bake. :)
Sports, and any other extra-curricular activities, would be their choice. I'd encourage anything they're interested in and would always attend everything. They'd be sick of me and my camera.
We'd visit family regularly, and they would always respect that their grandparents, aunts, uncles, whomever, have the right to want to spend time with them, and they would act appropriately when they did spend time with anyone.
Video games would also be limited...we'd have contests, likely.
Homework would, of course, come before everything...and I'd attend every goofy school function.
They'd, of course, be WVU and Steelers fans. *grin*
We'd probably have a thousand pets...8-/.
We'd have fun, non-rushed, road trips. We'd stop and see things.
At least part of their names would be after a family member.
We would hug, joke, wrestle, play jokes...laugh and talk and listen..just as I'm sure we'd occasionally fight and hit and cry and need space. But, ultimately, they'd always know that no matter what, they're loved unconditionally and have a place that they belong.

All of that is based solely on everything that I wish I'd had growing up. If I wanted to sit and ponder it forever, I'd add tons to it...and I know that you can't plan a life, but...it's just a list. My parents weren't awful..didn't abuse or torture me...they just didn't interact much..kinda ignored me mostly and did their own things. Mom was good when we were young, but..was always distant and sad. Dad mostly just made money, and drove on car trips. Eventually, we were four, VERY different islands just existing together until we could separate. We still mostly are.
Obviously, if I had one, I'd want something very different for my family.

That..and I'd hope they didn't look or act too much like me....poor things.

And..I need more coffee...and Mojo the Maniac demands LOVE.
~
c[ ] >^oo^<